We haven’t written about Hollis in a while. We actually haven’t even really talked about Hollis in a while. He’s been persona non grata in our house for quite some time actually.

It started with Hollis peeing on our bed right after Jack came home.

After ruling out UTIs and various other ailments through several expensive vet visits we determined there was no medical reason for the peeing. He was pissed, pardon the pun, that he was no longer top dog.

We thought it would get better. After all, the dog has a full time nanny, a dog walker and a little boy who drops food everywhere; he should be happy, right?

Well. No. Not if you’re a 12 year old “mostly” beagle.

He started peeing everywhere. It was like we had a cat, but the cat was actually a dog. He was banned from our bed, from the couch, from Jack’s room. And we thought, “well, it can’t get any worse.”

*sidebar: the dog has seen dog therapists, received doggy anti-anxiety meds, gets walked 6 times a day and is rarely alone. We’ve done it all. The resignation in our tone is just that, we’re resigned to living with Dog Piss.

So that whole “it can’t get any worse.” Um yeah. Hollis decided one night about 10 days ago that he was angry. He decided to demonstrate his anger by climbing INTO Jack’s fancy maxi-cosi car seat, crouching and peeing for several (clearly) very satisfying minutes. We didn’t witness this. We discovered the “incident” several days later clued in by the stench… we couldn’t figure out why our house still smelled like dog pee, BECAUSE WE HAD JUST MOPPED THE FLOOR… AGAIN.

This incident really freaked me out. I started to think maybe Hollis was going to have to “go away to the country.” He was clearly unhappy, we were clearly unhappy. What is a conscientious dog owner to do? We started discussing our options. He could do a trial visit with my mom and her dog Amos; they seem to like each other pretty well. We could look into beagle rescues, knowing that there were very few owners out there looking for a 12 year old beagle who likes to sleep and pee on furniture. We were very frustrated and we were also very worried.

Fast forward to this weekend. The family drove down the mid-Atlantic corridor, stopping to see my Mom in Philly and then continuing on down to DC to spend the weekend with Arch’s Mom & Peter. As with almost all of our road trips, Hollis was with us.

We had a lovely weekend. There were dinner parties and walks along the Potomac, there were searches for missing bracelets that were not missing, there was even a little drinking. And there was a Sunday Brunch. Hollis was with us for almost all of these events.

Walking back to the car after Sunday brunch, Hollis was suddenly attacked by a pit bull. He’s okay, but he was pinned at the neck by a much much bigger dog and it was very dramatic for about 30 seconds. Seemingly unscarred by the experience Hollis shook off the *relatively* near death experience and walked on.

I however, was not able to shake off the attack so easily. Last night, I called Hollis “little man” for the first time since Jack came home. He slept in bed with us for the first time since November, and he may have even had a piece of chicken before I left the house… He might even have some more chicken when I get home tonight. Or maybe some steak. I am not sure.

This is dramatic shift from where Hollis was in terms of organizational hierarchy just a day ago.

So, we have a cease fire for now, although I make no guarantees that the new “kinder, gentler era” will prevail.

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