Jack Kaden

He won’t even let the kid play in peace! I wonder what will happen when he gets his NEW camara?

We’ve been pretty low key about the speech delay thing around Jack. But the fact is, the kid is delayed, apparently about 37% delayed per Early Intervention.  So. We’ve been pretty creative with the communication with him. We greet each new word with excitement, including the word, “no.”

That’s right. Jack has recently learned the word, “no.” I understand that many parents are dismayed when this happens, (and that it usually happens much earlier), but us? We’re delighted.

It used to be that if Jack wanted something we’d play a guessing game, a looong drawn up guessing game. “Would you like juice, or milk?” was often met with an exasperated look and then perhaps some flinging of the offending item. Today I asked Jack if he wanted Juice and he shook his head “no,” so I prodded him a bit more (I am that kind of Mom after all), “juice?” I asked again, all innocent…and there it was clear as day, emphatic even, “NO.”  I kissed him.

Despite the 37% delay he’s getting much better at telling us what he wants. We were reading The Little Engine that Could this weekend and we passed the page talking about the oranges and apples and creamy milk (with peppermints and lollipops for dessert) when Jack removed the book from my hands and returned to the milk page. I didn’t get it at first so I read it to him again and then turned the page. He did it again, pulled the book away and turned it back to the milk page. So I asked,  ”Jack, would you like some milk” and he signed “yes, milk” and then he spoke… ”prreeaze.”

* full attribution to Sam Huxley.

We have entered tantrum land here. The first one or two were pretty alarming, Jack is so snuggly that not being able to touch him as he freaks the eff’ out is a little weird.  The tantrums go for about 20 minutes and involve a lot of sideways angry glances towards me. 2 hours later we get hugs.

Maybe my son is a teenage girl?

He’s also become a bit of a brute. He pushes back from the table with a lot of force, and throws his hands up in the air, aggressively signing “all done!” (well, aggressive as ASL lets you get).  He threw a wooden ball at Sidney’s head the other day and the THWOCK!!! sound was heard all the way at the other end of the apartment.  

It’s amazing to us that the 2 pound 3 ounce preemie is now a big boy. With opinions, and such.

We follow the progress of Odin, a young boy that was born with a lot of the same challenges as Jack. He had the same ROP surgery that Jack had, and he was born 25 weeks, one week earlier than Jack. He’s a super-cutie. We’ve gained some strength from watching the Snowdeal clan work through the issues of preemie parenthood. 

This week, Odin woke up and was having trouble seeing out of his right eye. Over the past several days, it’s become clear that he is in serious danger of having a retinal detachment, which leads to blindness. Sarah and I have been thinking about Odin all week, and we’re sending all our good vibes his way.

The thing thats scary about this is that Odin is 4 years old. And as Eric, Odin’s dad, eloquently put it: “day 1464: the long arm of prematurity reaches out and sucker punches us.”

That’s what really gets me. It may be years before we fully understand all the effects of Jack’s prematurity. And even as I strive to put it behind us and move on with the normal worries of parenthood, the reality is that there are unknown effects of prematurity that can take years to manifest. 

I recognize that all parents worry about their kids. I get that. I mean, my mom says, “Just wait ’till he asks you for the car keys and says he’ll be home by 3:00am. Now that’s worry!”

But I feel like for us, there is another layer. We get to worry about all that normal parent stuff, plus we have to try not to obsess or project our preemie worries onto Jack. 

Last thought.  Snowdeal posse, we’re wishing you the best of luck, and reminding you that Odin is a very very tough cookie.

We have purposefully refrained from writing about certain things that could make Jack turn bright red later in life. Oh don’t worry. There will be plenty of things that we intend to include…but specific issues are off-limits.

So, this will be the only mention we make about potty training.

Today, Jack used a potty for the first time.

Mainly because his parents forgot to go get him new diapers.

We rock.

The end.